Resolve.

So, I don’t make new year resolutions.  I don’t like the stress or pressure of having to come up with something and then try to stick to it for a whole year.  I ESPECIALLY don’t like the thought of people thinking “I knew she couldn’t do it” when I’ve given up the resolution by mid February.  I really, really hate to disappoint myself most of all so I just DON’T make resolutions.  I also don’t eat black eyed peas for luck, but that’s another story.

So, knowing that I don’t make resolutions I was surprised when around mid-December I started feeling that feeling to start anew.  To make some goals, intentions, objectives…some well, RESOLUTIONS.  I resisted for a few days, but in the end I began to really feel that for this year, for 2011, it was right.  I’m okay with that.

As a MTH 2010 alumni I have followed the blogs of fellow alumni and the MTH tumblr account off and on, but in the last weeks of 2010 I found myself checking them almost daily.  I’m still working through my goal setting for 2011 and haven’t quite gotten ALL my action steps written down yet, but I’m working on it.  And because I tend to stick to goals best when I tell other people what those goals are (I hate to let people down) then I want to share with you some of my goals for 2011.

#1 Remember my family–This is the BIG one.

First a little backstory: The last year was very busy.  Very busy.  I always felt like I had it together, but just barely. My family definitely didn’t get the best version of me.  I was angry a lot and stressed a lot and guess who got the brunt of that……my family.  I also just didn’t feel like taking photos for myself or my family.  Oh sure, I took photos on the obligatory birthdays, 4th of July, etc. etc.  but the desire to really DOCUMENT my life just wasn’t there.  Fast forward to December.  I made a book of things Mia did over the past year for Saylor’s grandmother as a Christmas gift.  I struggled, REALLY struggled to put together a simple 20 pg. book.  Most pages were only one photo.  I think 6 of the pages were about her summer swim lessons.  Almost 1/2 of the book was from one day.  That’s all I had.  Suddenly, I realized that a whole year of my life.  A whole year of my daughter’s life, HER 5th year (a big one) was missing.  I couldn’t get those moments back.  There was no way I could rewind time and capture Mia as she was during her 5th year.  That made me sad.  Distraught actually.  I mourned for the time that was lost forever.  So I RESOLVED to remember my family.  To take the time to remember them.  To create memories for them.

My main goal, intention, resolution (whatever you want to call it) for 2011 is to take photos for myself, and to make a book of those photos for myself.  I used to create intricate and very time consuming scrapbooks using the photos I had taken of those everyday moments, but since my business has become capturing memories for other people this passion has been forgotten.  Now, I want to remember it.  So using some of the concepts I’ve learned from the MTH community I vowed to DO IT and to make it simple.  This way I have no excuses. I’ll go into more detail on how I’m doing this in a later post, but for now I can share with you a few of the resources I’m using.

Somehow, as mothers and businesswomen, we always forget to remember ourselves.  I had coffee with a friend yesterday and she mentioned how she has noticed when a friend has a baby it’s like they “lose themselves” and they become only a stay at home mom whose life revolves around their children.  We as moms tend to let ourselves go and even forget to shower unless it’s in the best interest of our child.  I am just realizing  that this does not help.  It makes things worse.  If you haven’t taken care of yourself how on earth can you take care of someone else?  I began to work on this a couple of years ago when I finally started a gym regiment and have mostly stuck to it.  This was for myself.  Now, I find myself wanting more.  I’ve begun taking time to just breathe and reflect.  In 2011 I want to be calm, relaxed, organized and put together.  I also want to remember what this time in my life is like.  When I’m 70 years old I will want to remember what I was like at 30…okay, okay…..35.  This is my 35th year of life and it’s going to be an important one.  I NEED to remember it!  There are a few different action steps that go with this goal and I’m still working those out, but for now the main one I’m working on is feeling good in my own skin.  Loving me. Just like I am.  So, I started a self-portrait project.  I am taking a photo of myself without too many rules or restrictions.  Just as long as I am in the photo.  I’m trying to get over myself and am taking photos of myself that I may or may not really like, but someone loves me just the way I am so why shouldn’t I be okay with me just the way I am?  It’s a process. 🙂

ahhhhh! feel the fear, feel the fear...............and do it anyway.

P I N this to pinterest